Switchy Thoughts

Why do I think about coming on Bear's face when I masturbate?
Why do I think about using him, putting my feet up on his back, tying him up and ignoring him, but faced with it, I feel guilt/shyness? He's my DOM. Why do I think about abusing him?
I want him to give me a slave name. He calls me names, but I want an official one. I want to be his slut, his something. And his nothing.
He has a fantasy about being tied up with a straightjacket and basically...left.
I'd like to indulge that.
A bucket to piss in.
But again..Faced with him..Too shy, he has too much power.
Why do I even think about it? Alongside him using me?
I am giving myself too many airs.

Checking Me Out

Bear says he holds back from saying some stuff during sex.
He says he 'checks me out' and doesn't want to end up saying 'stupid shit' like my eyes look nice or I have a cute nose.
I want to hear that. I live for his compliments.
He used me as his rag this morning. Wiping all the come that was left over on his cock onto me. It made me shudder and squirt, which he then, again wiped onto me. Gorgeous.
He texted me saying he wants to fuck me in the ass.
I want that.

Red Underwear

I was wearing red underweat yesterday.
It was my intention to tease Bear with it, to sit on his lap, guide his hands to my bra and the edges of my underwear but not let him plunge in.
But it ended up me with my jeans off, everything else on, him stroking my arse. He's very anally-fixated. But then, him stroking my through my panties (which I LOVE), biting my thighs, licking me through them, pulling them off, his tongue on my clit, (me coming on his face a little..I always feel guilty but its one of the things I think about when I wank) pushing the tip of his cock in then pulling out.
"I wanna hear you really scream, you know" He grinned.
God, he's so good. Hitting something in the back of my cunt. Making me wail. Top off, bra off, nibbling my nipples. Pulls out, I gush..all over his chest and he's kneeling UP.
I've soaked the bed and its uncomfortable, so we fuck on the floor. I'm feeling unusually confident. We fuck doggy, him on top, me on top, I ask how he wants to come. He wants to come on me.
I suck his cock-he grabs both sides of my face and fucks my throat pretty brutally..I start fingerfucking myself but after a bit I choke.
He wants me to wank for him so I sit against the wall..still really wet..He comes after a while, I stick my tits out.
Later, we have a discussion about how I get wet just from him looking at my cunt. He doesn't believe me. We sit on the floor, his face between my legs, and its the way he licks his lips and stares intently..
"Told you" I laugh.
"Yeah, but now I wanna fuck you.."
So we fuck again on the floor. It's amazing how I can just let go in front of him now, let all the weird vocalisms out and not care what my face is doing. My orgasm made me feel weak.
Today he scrambled on top of me, naughtily, and forced it in until I was wet. Heaven.
We also visited Ann Summers today (British sex shop)- you can get three cockrings for 15 quid, which I want, amongst lots of other things. He says he's going to get a load of stuff pretty soon. We saw a cock restraint with three rings which was quite a bargain but I dont think you could have sex with it on, so its sorta pointless. He wants to get me anal bedas (see, anally fixated!) but I dont really want them. Keeps going to 'eat' my arse, too.
I want ankle spreaders and cockrings and kinda, kinda a gag.
Oh and a replica gun. Y'know, roleplay and all that. *g*

Urging His Hips

Last night.

He was knackered from basketball, so sex just wasn’t working. However, about two hours later, lay in my underwear, back to him but curled up against him, he slid a hand down me and whispered “This is all mine.”

I shuddered.

“This is mine and I can do whatever I want to it.”

A hand stroking my hips and thighs. “This is mine..”

Grabbing my breasts. “This is mine..”

And into my underwear. “And this is mine..”

I was moaning by now, willing him to tell me that he owns me. He pulled off my underwear and tried to slide in from behind, but I’d lost too much wet from when I was sitting on his knee and he was fingerfucking me.

“I need lube..” I whined.

“Get it then..”

I whined at him to stop what he was doing so I could sit up, swirled the lube around his cock the way he likes, and he fucked me. Until he came saying my name. Jesus.

This morning..I could feel his erection against my arse, so I slid my hand into his boxers and started to stroke him harder. He rolled onto my back so I could do it properly, and I mounted his stomach, dragging my parted lips over his nipple and ribcage. He was insistently pushing my head down to suck his cock, but I resisted, licking his torso and making him moan. He could feel me dripping onto him through my underwear, and after all the formalities I was riding him. W

When I’d had my fill, I climbed off him, knelt on all fours and made a head gesture that told him to get behind me. We hadn’t spoken yet, and it was hot. I’d been thinking about him bending me over and fucking and fucking me for a few days, so it was amazing relief. I put my cheek and shoulders right down on the pillow, and pointed my arse high as I could for him, like I’d seen on television recently. He came, again saying my name. I told him I LOVE that today, which seems to have been a good move.

Later I was really horny, but he said it was too soon after sex, and he didn’t think he could manage anything. I asked to blow him, and I DID get him hard, but I couldn’t open my mouth very wide for some reason, my jaw was crazy aching.

“So, I got you hard.” I said.

“Uhuh”

“So will you fuck me?”

He let me sink down on top of him-God I love when his arms are above his head, when we look at each other whilst we fuck. After a while he said, “Get on your back.”

Yum. I put my legs over his shoulders and we just watched each others faces, he knelt up and pulled my legs up so I could watch him fucking me. I wanted him to come over my stomach but I was too caught up in how loud he was making me come to ask.

At one point, my bent knees were at his hips and my hands were on his arse and his hips, me pulling him into me. It felt AMAZING. My cunt was just completely his, I was at a helpless angle, my hands were urging him to fuck me hard.

He came saying my name again :)

Last Backdated Entry!

The last backdated entry-I Am now caught up!

Bear was drunk for our sex on Wednesday night. I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to fuck, he’d told me earlier he thought he was gonna throw up.

‘Take off your dress.’

‘Bear, we’ve rowed, you’re very drunk, I don’t..’

‘Take off your dress.’

I stripped to my bra, underwear &tights. They were fucked, my tights. Laddered, with a hole starting near the crotch. I asked him to rip them. He did, with gusto. Teeth involved, and everything. It made me very wet, strips of them clinging to my legs. He didn’t take my underwear off-he parted it and slipped inside.

He was drunk, but to his credit, he was very hard and doing well. He fucked me from on top, then I kicked him backwards and rode him. He whispered in my ear, ‘Yknow what? I want you bent over the bed.’

Good, just what I’d been craving. Finger in my arsehole, too. He’s very anally fixated at the moment, since he first put his finger in the other day. He’s always touching my arse, slipping his finger in my arsehole.

I gave possibly the best blowjob of my life today-been really working on my gag reflex, I had him right down my throat, right at the back, for ages, was able to deepthroat slowly, no gagging, no big deal. I’m a pro! Suck his dick ‘til its really wet, swirl my hand around his shaft.

This morning he wanted it again. I was very turned on, he was masturbating, suggesting I do too, we watch each other, he’ll come on his chest and I can lick it up, stuff like that. He told me to get naked and climbed on top.

‘I’m gonna do what you liked last time..I’m gonna force it in until you’re wet..’

I was only dry because of alcohol consumption, but he took care of that. Mmm, forceful entering.

Eventually, he made me lay on my front to fuck me from behind, and at first I was grabbing the pillow and the side of the bed, but then I thought, ‘why not take this as an opportunity to make a fantasy come true?’

I’ve been wanting to have my hands tied behind my back whilst being fucked from behind for a while, and since there is no ‘tying’ material at Bears, I just held my wrists together. He got the hint and pushed down on my hands, like HE was holding them. Then held his hand on my head and started to pull my hair. Mmm.

Later we watched ‘Superbad’. It had a weird effect on me, making me horny. Sex was the main focus of the film, getting sex, and I thought, there’s a gorgeous boy lying next to me in tight boxers, how can I NOT attempt to seduce him?

I love his bulge in tight boxers. LOVE it. Looks huge. I stroked it, slowly, just outside the material. His breathing started to get heavy. We were below the covers, both breathing heavily, both clearly excited. I slid the boxers down his hips and took him into my mouth. He was fumbling at my pyjama bottoms, difficult when I’m between his legs blowing him, but he managed eventually and stuck two fingers in my now dripping cunt.

Then my poloshirt and bra came off..It was so passionate, no-one needed to do any talking, we both knew what we wanted, and he pulled me up by my hair, I crawled up him, parted my legs and sank onto him. Wetter than I’ve been in a while. Told him I love when he pulls me down onto it. Lots of hard fucking. I kept looking at the floor, wanting to fuck on it. I suggested it. He told me to crawl over to a spot.

The floor was GOOD. Hard, level, he was able to thrust really hard, really deep, for a good while. My neck was arching off the floor with the intensity. He pulled out and came across my stomach, then to my pleasant surprise slid back in for some more.

Another Backdated Entry

We both made it clear we wanted to fuck.

I got on all fours on the bed, and he clearly though I was just in my presentation position. He tried to push me down on the bed, but I wanted it from behind. I stood firm. He smiled and mounted me, but the amount of alcohol we’d had was affecting both of us. After a brief rest, I slid on top of him, reached behind me and put on the handcuffs. I rode him for a while, then slid off and licked and bit his torso, my head near his cock.

‘Do you want me to put it in my mouth?’ I asked.

He nodded.

‘Why don’t you beg me Bear, like you made me beg the other day?’

‘Please suck it’

I smiled and bit him.

‘Please, please suck it..’

And I did. And somehow I ended up upside down, my cunt at the side of his face. I don’t usually 69..I just feel very aware of the angle..How unflattering it is..And for this reason I don’t sit on faces, either. But the temptation was too great and mutual oral broke out. It was fucking fantastic.

But then. A nagging at my asshole. He always said if he DID slip a finger in there, he’d be slow, and gentle, but no, he forced it in. I bucked a little bit, with the shock, but then as he fingerfucked it, it began to feel so good. I rode against it. He responded by pressing harder.

My blowjob was getting a bit frantic with the enjoyment of it, so I tried to find HIS asshole. He was totally clenching, though, but it eventually slid in.

The dirtiness of the mutual oral, combined with the mutual asshole thing was making me completely wet..Gushing over his chest..He later said he felt like he was drowning.

When it was over, he had me get into my presentation position at his feet on the floor.

‘Good’, he said, stroking down my spine like I was a table. I had a sudden, odd urge for him to rest his feet on me.

‘At ease’ He said.

I knelt up. ‘You’re fucking awesome at that..’

He frowned. ‘I didn’t say you could compliment me..Go get me a beer.’

I got up. Big mistake.

‘I didn’t say you could walk!’

I crawled to the box on my knees. I went to hand it to him.

‘Read the label.’

I WANTED to hesitate, but I read everything on the label, percentages and everything.

‘Now backwards.’

I wondered if he meant every word backwards, or sentences. I went for sentences.

‘Now. If I whisper in your ear at any point tonight, you are to do anything I say, and reply with ‘Master.’ Do you understand?’

‘Yes Master.’

‘You’re at ease now, but if I click my fingers at any point tonight, you are back in mode. Do you understand?’

‘Yes Master.’

He kissed me on the cheek. ‘You look a slut. I like it.’ He pinched my arse and out we went.

I DIDN’T look like a slut-I had a top on made of pvc tape, but I had my jacket on, fastened over it. But I appreciated very much the compliment!

The next day I had a bit of cystitis-Bear tried it on with me a little, but I said I was too sore.

‘I’ll be gentle, I’ll go slow.’

‘No’

‘We can do it in the arse?’

‘Okay..’

He laughed.

Later, he had a huge, huge hardon. He asked me to suck it and I obviously obliged. He was groaning, but replying to text messages he’d got that day..I do kinda find it it hot when he goes about his business whilst I’m giving him a seeing-to. He texted ME saying ‘I love when you suck my dick.’

‘Say it.’ I asked.

‘What, I love when you suck my dick? I do, I also love when you lick my balls.’

‘Hint, hint?’

He smiled and pushed my head lower. I lapped at them for a while.

‘Put it back in your mouth.’

The demon jawache rose up, but I’ve developed a technique for stroking him where I swirl my hand around, with a wet palm. I did this for a while.

‘I love when you do that..’

But I couldn’t constantly keep licking my palm..Lube was a lot sexier. I covered him in it and stroked him. It looked so good-huge and wet, making ME wet, surprisingly. My first thought was ‘I want to be on that.’

My phone was on the nightstand, but I wanted to film his beautiful, beautiful groaning. He saw my hesitation.

‘I won’t stop if you don’t..’

Some three minute, amazing footage ensued. But then he was conscious of my arm aching.

Gathering all my courage, I asked him ‘So, dya wanna fuck?’

‘Weird question..On your back.’

He is so amazing at dragging intense orgasms out of me. And I’ve began to say his name more in bed.

Well, why wouldn’t I?

Some Action

Bear was drunk and energetic on Friday night.
All over me, not quite sure what he wanted, every position. I got on top, he said he wanted me to get him wet all over. I wanked over his chest and stomach and started rubbing it over his torso.
'I mean ALL over.' He said.
'What, like your face?'
He nodded. Oh God, I'd wanted to come in Bears face for a while but was too shy to ask. Not quite how I was about to, though. More him giving me oral in the traditional sense, me on my back him between my legs, I pull away, come on his face..
But I was straddling it..Not much wet was coming out, I'd lost plenty to the sex and the torsowank. I tried a little, on his chin, his cheek, he was moaning, I came into my hand and wiped it across his whole face, then licked it.
I commented that he was dirty.
'Then turn around, I'm about to get a whole lot dirtier..'
I did. Oral sex, mmm, nice, I started sucking his cock, mutual oral, since I'm comftier with it.
Biting my ass, licking the skin that divides my cunt and arsehole..Argh, what? Getting nearer, then yep, his tongue, all up in my arsehole. Never had it done, vanilla old me.
I said to him, 'Well, thats THAT virginity gone.'
Peculiar. Couldn't work out if I liked it. Then a finger in my cunt, one in my arse. Felt awesome. Soon he was fucking my arse with two fingers and I couldn't concentrate on sucking him. Amazing.
Later I noticed he had..arse related stuff on his finger. I felt awful, that'd never happened. And on my hip. Eugh. We both washed and I said no more arse-related stuff. He shrugged. Bear is quite shameless, nothing really bothers or shocks him.
I don't know how he does it, I for one wouldnt want an ass in my face.
I got another bout of cystitis because the time after the aforementioned sex, I was sucking him, got horny, couldnt be arsed getting myself all worked up, just wanted to fuck him, and the only thing we had to hand was vaseline. Quite dry, weird. Rough. So, cystitis. Note to self: Get wet.
Not that I'm not often wet. Just sometimes for some reason my body doesn't co-operate.
So I was very much out of action today. Bear said he wanted to wait a couple of weeks to fuck me. I said he couldn't do that to me, I'd be fine soon and needed him to fuck me. He'll probably still hold out on me though. He said I had permission to still give him handjobs and blowjobs. It turned me on how he still felt he was entitled to his.
So this morning I reached down to stroke his beautiful, slumbering cock, just wanted to make him come. Ended up giving him a handjob. Made him come before my arm was too tired. Was impressed with myself.
Licked up all the come that had fallen on his stomach, because I thought it was sexy. Clean him. He tastes good and I think he appreciated it.

Second Backdated Entry

Bear came over about midnight, after work and watching a basketball game. He was tired and kinda grumpy at first-I got him juice and toast, tried to make him happy. At some point he got naked-Bear has a habit of randomly taking his clothes off.

‘Why’re you such an exhibitionist?’ I asked.

‘Why AREN’T you naked?’ He asked, and started to undress me.

He was holding me, touching my cunt, but I feel VERY exposed and naked when I’m stood up.

‘Can I lie down and have the duvet on me now?’ I asked.

‘No’ He said, and pushed me into a sitting position on the bed.

He bit my thighs and tongued my clit until I was moaning, then whispered for me to lie down. He put the tip of his cock into me, but made no effort to slide it in. I was grumbling about that.

‘Do you want it?’

‘Yes..’

‘Ask me’

‘Please, Master.’

‘You don’t have to call me Master..I’m just me right now.’

‘Please..’

‘I’m not giving it to you until you beg properly.’

I bit my lip-‘Please don’t make me beg..’

But he continued to tease me..Pulling out to stroke himself, sliding a finger into me, sliding his tip in and pulling out..

‘If you don’t beg, I’m just going to come on you and you’ll get nothing. I’m just gonna stay right here until you beg me.’

‘Please, please fuck me..’ I wailed.

And then he slid it into me. It felt huge, because I’d been waiting so long. And he was obviously feeling acrobatic..Bending my knees up to my chest, holding my legs up and kneeling..I pulled him so he was lying down and dug my nails into his biceps and scratched his back. My feet were on his arse pulling him in deeper, but I wanted him more.

‘Fuck..Deeper, harder!’ I was moaning, which I don’t usually say. I don’t direct Bear’s fucking of me.

My hands alternated between scratches on his chest and all over him and pulling him deeper to me by his arse.

We were soon coming, me biting his arms and wailing.

‘God, you were like an animal!’ He said.

First Backdated Entry

He said ‘I’m going to test your gag reflex tonight.’

I smiled and nibbled his ribcage and nipples, sliding down to his stomach. He was all tense from working and basketball training. He was moaning, just from this attention, very unlike him. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pushed my head down to his cock.

‘Violent boy’ I smiled up at him.

I think we were both feeling flirty..I whined that my jaw ached and began to stroke him, starting and stopping. He said it made him frustrated. I whined that my arm ached, jokily. He told me to use my mouth. I sucked him, then crawled up his chest and told him I wanted sex.

I rode him for a while, him perfectly hitting my gspot. I commented that it was too easy.

He grinned, ‘That a bad thing, you complaining?’

‘No, no.’

‘Good, let’s see how many we can get, shall we?’

‘It’s not a competition, don’t start’ I laughed.

‘Would you prefer me on top?’

‘I’m good for now.’

‘Well, 2 more then and we’ll switch’ He joked. Sounded like a plan to me, though.

I came, and my orgasm after the former I drew him out of me and gushed over his stomach.

‘There’s two’ I smiled.

‘You came?’

‘Well, you suddenly got a lot damper..’

So he fucked me to us both coming together.

Later, we were meant to eat at a friend of his. ‘I want food’ I whined. He ignored me. I tried several times.

Though I was dressed, I got on all fours on the bed. He was seated across the room. ‘I want food.’

He studied my position, raising his eyebrows.

‘That’s a good position. That is to be your presentation position.’

I was annoyed at the change of subject.

‘I want food.’ (Repetitious and whiney, yes, but sometimes it’s all you can do to get through to Bear.)

He frowned. ‘Come here.’ He pointed to the floor in front of him.

I got off the bed and crawled across the floor, kneeling at his side.

‘You can put your head on my lap if you wish.’

I’ve gotten wiser than this-I know ‘if you wish’ means ‘you should. I did. It made me feel obedient, and pet-like. I wanted to unzip his flies and re-suck him hard. I resisted the urge.

‘Now ask.’ He said.

‘I want food.’

‘I want food WHAT?’

‘I want food, Master.’

‘Good.’

‘Are we meeting him soon?’

Silence.

‘Are we meeting him soon, Master?’

And so on. So we got there eventually, and I do get on with Bear’s friends very well. We’re usually quite sarcastic when we’re together, and for some reason women dominating men came up in conversation.

‘I bet it’s awesome to be dominated’ Bear commented-a joke aimed at me, I blushed.

‘Are you dominant?’ His friend addressed me.

‘Not at all, I’m his little bitch’ I said, disguising my voice as a joke. It felt good to say, though.

He got naked when we returned to his. I got to my underwear and lay down. He looked at me.

‘I never stopped to look at you in your underwear before, I just pull it off. You’re very attractive.’ He commented. Then we kissed-we don’t much make out for a while-just usually during sex and now and again. It was nice. He looked down. ‘I enjoyed that a lot.’

‘Are your knees still sore?’

‘Too sore for me on top’ He said, eyebrow raised.

What was interesting was I could hear clearly my cunt slapping into him, and I’ve never been on top for that long before getting tired or us changing position. For my orgasm I finally nestled into his shoulder and groaned into his ear. It made me realise I get off on his mouth a lot. It just think its perfect, a gorgeous cupids bow, how a boys lips SHOULD be, and groaning, parting to reveal those white sharp teeth..amazing.

This morning, he told me to get naked..But to stand up so he could see me. I always feel conscious, so I quickly lay down. He stood naked and said, ‘Does this make up for it?’

Indeed it did, a huge erection always helps.

I told him to crawl on the bed towards me..He did several times, making me laugh, but it looked incredibly sexy. He straddled my face, and I sucked his cock from the awkward angle.

When he came down, he slapped his cock against my cunt. I got a little damp, but in no way gushing, and tried to push it in.

‘Dry..’ I said, alarmed.

He continued to push. I relaxed, imagining him forcing himself upon me to relax me.

‘God, that was so hot, you just pushing it in until it got there..’ I told him.

‘I just needed to make it work..’

I swear, every time we fuck, he just gets rougher..Pounding me. He keeps pulling out to come on my pubic bone, though, preferring it to coming inside me. I decided I’d rub it in.

‘Why do you always make a mess?’ I smiled.

‘I like coming on you..’

And we discussed our first sex. We apparently kissed a lot. And he felt guilty that I was drunk, hah.

He is opening up, a lot more.