Watersports

Well, we had a big talk. Again.
The comments he made about women online hurt me, but he made the point, 'X, *I* linked you to that website, why would I if I felt it was wrong?'
So we discussed comprimise and he said he won't again. So we'll see. I, meanwhile, feel better. As much as I need verbal deprivation, verbal humiliation, I also like to hear that he loves me, which he says often now without prompt.
Last night I was detirmined not to give him sex, just feeling a little 'off' about my body, seeing that he'd complimented others, etc. But we began to play strip scrabble, I was in my underwear and he was fully dressed, clearly winning. It frustrated me so he let me stop.
But all his suggestions and touching made me aroused. As he said to me when I whined that I was detirmined not to give him any sex, 'If I want it enough X, I'll persist.'
I told him I was thinking about sucking his cock, and did.
Then we made out, hard, his hand in my hair, holding onto a clump, wrapped around his fingers. He pulled it for nothing, pulled my head back to bite my neck, pushed my head down onto his cock. Pushing my head up and down. I was gagging. I tried to get onto his cock.
'Do you want it inside you?'
I nodded.
'Suck my cock until I say you can get on it. Put my cock to the back of your throat until I say.'
I was feeling a bit naseous that night however, and I tried to keep it in back but felt like I was going to vomit. He told me to get on it. He was solid.
'You know, you're LUCKY I even let you on this cock. You're unworthy, you're nothing. That's right, my cock feels good, doesn't it? God, why haven't you made me come yet? Try harder. You piece of shit, you slut.'
Constant snarling. He'd never called me a 'piece of shit' before. I came over his dick, and he told me to go down and lick it up. I hate my taste.
When he allowed me to come back, he told me to make sure he comes this time.
'You know I'm only fucking you to come, don't you? I don't give a shit about your enjoyment.'
I was coming hard from all the degredation, and he eventually came but didn't tell me. I knew when he said 'Okay, you can kiss me now.' (He dislikes when I try to kiss him during his more 'dominant' times a lot, and I was told off for trying during this session.)
And later, before we showered, he pissed on me for the first time. He's only ever pissed in my mouth. I LOVED it.
I sat in the shower and he just let rip. It bounced off my chest and hit my face, my hair..It just felt so ultimately humiliating.
It's not something I thought I WOULD have enjoyed, but I did, thoroughly.
This morning we fucked again and I love how he just seems to sense where to put his dick to make it feel amazing. Hammering my gspot.
'I think you should come on me..'
'Me too.'

More Of The Same

Sigh.
Yesterday, I crawled on top of him, and it was short, because I have never wanted him to come more than I did yesterday. I just wanted to make him come, see it in his face. And he did.
Then, we had another row about trust issues. But then we went to a party.
There was a couple there joking about how the male should be kept on a leash, and Bear and I looked at each other, knowing we HAVE a leash.
But. More of the same. He's just..kept commenting on girls and it's not something I want, not when I've put this much into it.
I just don't know if I can be arsed with this hurt anymore.

Schoolgirl

I asked him, 'Should I put my uniform on and entertain you for a bit now?'
He said he wasn't in a really sexual mood. God, the monster reared its head again-why didn't he want me? Christ. I sulked a little, and he said to give him ten minutes. I said no, he'd rejected me now and it felt shit (I know, I know it's bratty.) he turned on the flirting and trapped me underneath him and just..slowly made out with me. For ages. We rarely kiss like that, so it was damn erotic.
He told me to put it on, and after a little hesitance, I went to change-white lacetop holdup stockings, my huge black fetish shoes, little checked blue skirt, tight white shirt, red bra, black crotchless underwear.
When he looked at me, he bit his lip. He didn't know where to look. I knew it was his fantasy come true, and he'd felt guilty about it for a while. (I've done it before for my ex, I think its pretty common!) He said he couldnt believe it was happening. I dropped to my knees and sucked him, looking up at him through layers of mascara. He was all, 'I really want to come.' I felt really sexy. I liked the uniform.
I said, 'No, there is a carefully laid out plan.'
I unbuttoned my shirt, removed my bra, put my open shirt back on, poured lube all over his upstanding cock and onto my tits, leaned forward and yes..titwanked him. He was pretty much in Heaven.
He kept saying how he wanted to fuck me. 'How do you want it?' I asked innocently.
He had me on my back..He didn't know where to look, told me how good I looked at regular intervals. Good stuff.
When he'd came, he said he wanted to go again, and WAS hard right away. He told me I was really dirty. I was whining..He slammed me really hard.
When it was all over, I said I wanted to wank, and reached for my vibe. He stuck two fingers out to me. 'Use these', he said.
It was hot 'using' him as a vibe. He still looked really turned on, and said he wished he could get hard. He said he loved being used for me to get off. I tried sucking his cock whilst I wanked with my vibe but no dice.
When we were getting ready to go out, he had all the names for me..Slutbitchwhore, and called me a filthy little fuck. Mmm.
Today I told him I wanted more marks on my tits..I have little yellow fingerbruises that look good, but I love having them slapped around. He grinned and sucked and scratched. No marks thus far, though.
Today we bought black vinyl sheets, one for here and one for at his house..so the beds stay dry. He was going to buy me a maids dress but no joy sizewise. Blast.
He did however buy me a new (softer) vibe (nice to have something that works!), new silky lube, toy cleaner wipes and batteries.
He didn't fuck me before he left for home, though. He said he has uni work to do, but Gawd.

Sexual Excess

I have had lots of sex the past few days.
It began Friday, Bear came over drunk at about 2AM. I was unshaved in all places, had no makeup on and pyjamas. He commented how he preferred me sans makeup. He was calling me a 'dirty little bitch' and we ended up fucking with him on top. I am suprised that he lasted as long as he did. Excellent.
On Saturday we fucked in the shower..I love doing this. Thinking about it now makes my pussy pulsate. Later I gave him a blowjob until he came. It is like an ego thing for me..Proving I CAN do it, I CAN give him pleasure without wanting anything in return, and I CAN make him come with my mouth. Plus he tastes good and I like the sensation of his come filling my mouth, and his fighting for breath and 'I'm gonna come..' I requested oral later.
The 'teasing session' started with pretty innocent spanking with the belt..joke spanking..then he got all involved with his hand, spanking me with his bare palm, delicious..He'd occasionally press my arsehole and I opened my legs slyly, hoping he'd put his fingers inside me. I was wet from a previous fingerfucking and wanted more. He'd tease me, but not enter me. He spanked fuck out of me.
He dipped into my drawer of delights and cuffed and collared me. He bit my nipples, breathed on my cunt, looked at me.
'I don't think you deserve this, do you?'
'No, Master.'
'So, why should I?'
I whimpered, panicked.
'I..I don't know..'
'Well, you have ten seconds to think about it.'
'Because..Because you know I'd make it up for you?' I made a stab at it.
'You will anyway. What else?'
'I'll do things I said I wouldnt..' I immediately regretted saying this..I just wanted his tongue on my cunt asap.
'Oh really? What things?'
'Anything you want..'
'Well. Alright, if you don't make a single noise. Then I'll stop. And keep your cuffs above your head.'
The cuffs dug into my wrists..This happened last time. Painful. Bear requested me to tell them when they hurt when he was putting them on..then clicked them tighter.
His sturdy tongue worked magic between my legs and I tried to keep the noise instead.
'I can't do this..' I whined.
'Fine.' He said. Mercifully forgiving.
'Can I take the collar off, it's too loose..' I whined.
'Suck it up' He spat.
Made me come, but wouldn't let my legs collapse onto his head. Pulled them apart.
We went to Ann Summers (British highstreet sexshop) later..He got me a ballgag (Yay! Except it doesn't fit. My head is too small. He is going to fix it.) And some fetish magazines to look at (Big mistake..Very 80s, very strange.) I got stockings..Black fishnet holdups and black sheer holdups with big satin bows. I am enchanted by stockings! I tried the fishnets on later and Bear was very turned on..Collared and leashed me, bent me over the sink and fucked the shit outta me..And later took photos, coupled with my fetish shoes.
Sunday we went to his house and I sucked his dick. I have been getting a LOT more confident with dirty talk. I asked him what he liked about when I sucked his cock. He was telling me, and I was all 'Really?' playfully. I told him I liked hearing him say 'cock'.
We'd bought a tiny disposable cockring with a little vibrator on with 20 minutes worth of vibration..So I slipped it on and straddled him. He said it was nice on his balls, did it feel good. I told him about how it felt on my clit.
I wanted him on top..We fucked for a while and I asked that he say my name when he came. Delicious.
Later, we talked about porn..He confessed that he likes the whole schoolgirl thing but felt pretty silly about it. I have bought a white shirt and black crotchless underwear (he likes crotchless underwear) and some white stockings, I have to get a blac, shirt skirt. Needless to say, he's in for a treat. I like Bear's liking of dressing up. I just wish I had more money! He also confessed he likes waterbondage porn. We watched some of it..And some of it featured electric shocks on the cunts of the girls..I said it was a bit extreme for me.
We watched Training Of O videos for a while. I LOVED it. Full of 'Please make me behave..' and other such sexy shit. The Masters were so brutal. He told me I have to ask to come, and if I am asked my relationship status, to say 'owned'.
I asked would he give me a beating with his hands in the future. He straddled my chest and put his cock into my mouth. He mouthfucked me brutally, I loved gagging on it. He fingered my cunt at the same time..I was so wet. Fucked me and fucked me..I asked to get fucked from behind. I was loving it. I was about to ask him to call me a slut before I came, but I felt him pull out..I thought he was going to force it into my ass, but he was coming directly onto my asshole.
Later, he let me lick his arsehole. He asked why I liked it. I said, 'It feels dirty.'
And today I wanted to make him come before I left. He said he was going to wank into my mouth. He did for a while, then wanted me to suck it, then pushed my head down to his balls.
'I love when you come into my mouth' I told him. (See? Braver!)
'Really?'
'Yeah, you taste good..'
That made him moan. And I swallowed and it was amazing. I felt so useful.
Gosh, that was long.

I am aware that this is becoming more of a sexual record than a BDSM blog. I hope it still tililates. I like to have a sexual record.
Bear is so amazing at oral sex. He said 'I'm hungry..Can I go down on you?'
He likes to spit directly onto my cunt..Not for more lubrication, just with a look of contempt. It makes me come. At one point I was pushing his head down..Until I thought 'What am I doing?!'..He didn't say anything, though.
I was so turned on when he came back up that my hand went to my cunt. He smiled and in a gorgeous growly voice, "Come for me. I want to watch. Don't you want to come for me?" Needless to say, it came quickly. Especially when he called me his property.
Before we went to get food, we had some AMAZING sex after I sucked his cock (He asked me to lapdance but I cant pluck up the courage)..I was on top of him, he was sat up, and he bounced me up and down in his strong arms..Lifting me right up and pushing me back down onto his cock. That got quite loud.
He has also started counting when I don't do a command fast enough. Threateningly.."3...2...1".
He slapped my cheek this morning. *Swoon* and has been continuing the rough nipple play. He fucked me today wearing nothing but a white trilby-style hat I love. Ha.

Reconciliation

Yesterday was brilliant. He stripped, and told me to stand so he could strip me, then sit on his cock. (I asked could we have more foreplay so I am wetter but he said no. He likes to force it in. I just get wetter later anyway. And it DOES feel like losing my virginity. But good.)
We were accidently angled in front of his full-length mirror. I felt sexier. I am not in love with my body by any means, but I stretched over him, catlike, and was able to position myself in ways he liked. He saw that I was looking and told me to bend over.
He took his place behind me and I was able to see him fucking me. Powerful. Amazing. And to see how exciting he gets ME too, to see me moaning..He pushed me forward so I could see him fucking me better.
He pulled me onto my back and drew my legs up around him. God, he was in so deep. It felt so different, I was constantly hovering on the edge. My noises were urgent, high in my throat, high and raw. He dripped with sweat onto my face and body. He cried out my name when he came which just made it all the fucking hotter.
And then later I rode him and we fucked from behind again.
I've just had my cunt waxed..I usually shave and it is beautifully smooth. I wanted oral..to feel the 'new' skin but of course I didn't want to ask for it. But at some stage Bear dived between my legs and made me come with his tongue. I was worried about him licking his own semen but he carried on regardless. Amazing.
He went on the computer but I was still horny..I was wanking and he came over and ordered me to do it in front of him. I said no.
I said I have taken off my wristband.
He said 'You'd better be wearing it when you come round.' (I didn't, and nothing was said, but it is going back on.)
So, he ordered I masturbate. I said no. He forced my legs apart and placed my hand on my cunt. I did nothing. I turned my head away. My heart raced.
He grabbed my neck and squeezed. I gasped. He hasn't strangled me since last year. I looked at him defiantly. He slapped my cheek with the back of his hand. I squirted wetness.
'Look at you, you still enjoy it' He sneered.
I continued to stare at him. He squeezed my neck harder. Tugged my nipples harder than he ever has. Gripped my breasts achingly hard. Raked nails down my thighs.
I still didn't masturbate.
He flicked my cunt. It hurt. I struggled, and kicked out at him. Finally, he stormed off. I felt shamed.
We talked about it later. 'I'll do whatever you want..' I said, almost sobbing.
He told me he didn't know he was into it until we started. He didn't mean to call it stupid. He frequently talked about slapping the back of my legs with his belt.
'It's your arse when you're good,' He said (though I now hate the belt) 'And your legs when you're bad.'
'You like hurting me, don't you?'
He said yes.

Noisy

I gave Bear some presents yesterday-a big box of white chocolate and aftershave amongst them-and he dived between my legs as a thankyou. Then he told me to bend over..But he had his belt folded in his hand..I argued, but he was adamant. I waited, trembling for the blow on my backside but he trailed fingers over my wet cunt instead.
I crawled onto his lap for sex..I love being able to hold him close, it just makes me feel really bonded. He picked me up when he'd had his fill, laid me on my back, pushed back my knees and made me watch him fuck me, then pulled out to come over my stomach.
Today he said I should pay close attention to his balls-I lapped at them and dragged my teeth over them, which he was loving. He asked me where the powder was (we bought some read candy powder that tingles when you lick it..) and I sprinkled it over his balls. Licking it, he shuddered. I like experimenting with what he likes. I ran my wet palm over the head of his cock today but he said it was too much. He won't let me lick his arsehole though..Despite him doing it to me. I am curious!
When it was my turn he sprinkled it over my breasts and licked it up my neck, biting my nipples. I was getting wet with him leaning over me..It was total relief when he finally slid it in.
I unfortunately screamed 'FUCK ME!'..I feel so sorry for my housemates sometimes!