Belonging.

Bear &I went on a date today. We haven't seen each other in ages, so.
He has uni tomorrow, so I didn't know if the date would end up with fucking, but I shaved my cunt and wore matching underwear anyway.
The night was kinda flirty, and like a 'real' date, I was dying to kiss him. He would occasionally (in the STREET) reach over and grab my tits or ass, and at one point I said 'Would you stop grabbing me?'
He replied 'Why? I own you, I can touch you whenever I want.'
I shuddered and he said 'You belong to me..'
I suggested we go to my flat and when in my room, I was ready to get him a drink, as he usually wants one, but he began stripping off. I asked him why and he said 'I'm getting ready to fuck you..'
I lay back on the bed, fully clothed whilst he lay gorgeously naked over me. Huge erection. Kissing my neck, undressing me. Didn't take my bra off, just pulled the cups to display my nipples so he could suck them.
Forced his dick into me..So intense, it felt like I was losing my virginity. He was in me so deep, I was howling. He put his mouth to my ear so I could hear his gasps-he knows I love his noises.
But mid-fuck he hissed, 'Who do you belong to?'
'You' I whined.
'WHAT?' He spat.
'You, Master!' I panted.
It was amazing, I felt so bonded to him..Doing all the wonderful things I love..Re-inforcing that he owns me, fucking me deep.
We have our most amazing kisses when we fuck..At one point, he stuck the tip of his tongue in my mouth..It made me gasp and I think he liked that reaction. He's an amazing kisser, his sex (and the anticipation of it) makes me shiver.
When it was over (and I love watching him come) he ordered me to stay naked, and I sat on his knee whilst his eyes roamed over me. He pulled on my nipple too..really winding me up. I wished he could have managed an erection again so I could suck on it.
And now he is gone..I can't wait to see him again Tuesday.

MyName

Bear stayed for a couple of days. This is the sexual stuff I remember from the three days.
The first I remember, I was lying on the floor for some reason and he seduced me with his words. I was being coy, and he was being flirty.
When we were upstairs, there was lots of yummy headpushing on his cock, and fucking.
Later on, I lubed up his cock and wrapped pearls all around it. He loved getting stroked this way..He was supposed to come on my tits, but it ended up on my stomach. He was sleepy, but promised to hit me with the belt the next day.
&He delivered, obviously. I no longer enjoy the belt..It hurts WAY too much. Which is why he'll probably start to work it into punishments. He was pushing fingers up into my arse too, and was askingandasking to lick it. I had been bratty about getting oral sex too (bad me.) so I let him lick my arsehole (it is so strange..but good..but I won't admit it) then he told me to go up on his face.
I rode him for AGES yesterday. Usually I get really tired but he wouldn't let me offhim..So I grabbed the top bar of my headboard (that's the good thing about being home..A headboard!) and just fucking went for it. I think he was holding it back..I was getting so tired. But when he was coming (He always warns me) I said-not even thinking about it, just came out-'Call me a whore, call me a whore!'
He said, 'You're a whore, you're a fucking dirty bitch!'
Mmmm. It turned me on SO much that when we were done lying naked like 'phewww', I had to masturbate a few times just over those words. I want namecalling more. MUCH more.
He also gave me oral this morning. But nothing comes for free and he forced my head down on his cock. I was at his side and it was awkward for me..I always crawl between his legs to suck him, and when I tried to climb between his legs he threw me on my back. I whined.
He opened my legs and plunged inside..He makes me come so fast, so intensely..It was gorgeous, and when he was coming my mouth of no accord said again 'Callmeawhorecallmeawhore'
And then I thought 'arg, stupid.' But he didn't seem to hear me-He just groaned
'Oh God, (myname)'
Jesus, I love when he calls my name when he comes.

Intimate

I am, as I may have mentioned, home from uni for a few weeks. So is Bear. So I'm staying at my parents.
And like the naughty teenagers we're not, we fucked on my parents couch!
I have no idea why, I just always wanted to. It's brown leather and I can't look at a chair without thinking about the possibilities of how to have sex on it.
Bear was in a sort of distant mood when he first arrived, but sitting at his feet I asked could I suck on him. He had quite the erection.
I convinced him to move to the other couch, stripped to my bra and straddled him. We fucked with the curtains open, I was able to bounce better, grip the back of the couch and drag my tits over his face as I rode him.
I'm more comfortable fucking in a bra-I have small tits but a bra pushes them together and gives a lot more support ;]
When I was tired I pulled him onto me and held him deep inside me with my legs. Soon he said he was going to come. I begged him not to, but like he was going to listen!
What was really lovely was we stayed with him lying over me for a few moments, me holding him inside me, stroking his hair and face and just smiling at each other. Really cute.
Later we fucked with me bent over the sofas arm-I may have mentioned it more than twice but I LOVE getting it from behind. And Bear just gets better, knowing where in my cunt to hit.
Then of course he made me crawl around the living room floor naked for a while, occasionally spanking me before he'd allow me to get dressed.
I always feel a little pathetic before I get my period (I should soon) so clambering onto his lap I said 'Do you mind being my Master?'
'No, I enjoy it.'
'I know you only do some stuff because I ask though, I feel guilty..'
'Don't, you do stuff for me. And no-one's been interested in what turns me on before, anyway.'
'I don't really know what turns you on, I don't know if I'm pleasing you.'
'Just blowjobs whenever I want, anything we do as long as I'm having fun.'
Then he confided he likes the idea of drowning without being able to do anything about it, and I suggested I could cuff him and dunk his head in the bath, or something. But he backtracked and said it was stupid. I was disappointed, because he clearly closed the subject.
Later, he remembered he'd brought the new cock ring, which he dislikes. It IS a very bad design, skin and hair get caught in it. He put it on, adjusted it and told me to get to work. I sucked, and after a while he was hard-his veins pratically glowing, and his erection very red. It was a bit worrying. And it started going down. We decided the cockring was basically bad. Disappointing.
He did something very un-Bear..He fucked me very slowly and gently..Deep, but slow and gentle. He put his massive hand over my mouth and nose when I whined (my parents were downstairs at the time) and fighting for breath made me come harder. Despite me hating anything lovemaking-shaped, it was lovely being able to stroke his hair and look at him..God I LOVE watching him come, his face is so beautiful, like he can't believe it..
Then again I got all pathetic..'Do you want to be with me for a long time? Are you serious about me?'
We asked each other intimate questions, it made me feel very bonded. He slept next to me though he's not really supposed to here (house rules.)
This morning I awoke his sleepy cock with a rub and he told me to bend over. It was AMAZING, stopped himself from coming over and over until I'd came so many times it was hurting and I was a whiny, pathetic trembling wreck on the bed. Made me feel very controlled. Allowed me to grind back on his cock.
After a shower, because he hadn't come, I pulled him on top of me. He announced he was going to come on me, amused that he was going to mess up my cleanliness. Pushed back my knees so I could see his cock slide in and out of me, and as I was roaring in orgasm, pulled out and came all over my body..A big spurt actually landed in my mouth! ;]

Piss-Drinking &Punishments

Bear had recently said to me, 'I'm not doing mediocre punishments anymore.'
I said, 'Mediocre? I HATED going to my corner.' He shrugged. He looked bored. He's made life a lot stricter of late. But I guess it's what I need.
I sometimes hit him in jest, but at various interludes last night he was counting off punishments. 'That's four' he'd say. I'd whimper.
In the taxi back from our night out he whispered to me that he was going to piss in my mouth. I nodded. I followed him into the bathroom, and placed my mouth over his cock. It became instantly hard. He cursed it and told me to wait. I closed my eyes.
Soon a warm stream was filling my mouth. It didn't taste of anything-just warm water (I think it is Bear's quite healthy diet)-I was pleasantly suprised and gulped down his stream. He told me he didn't find it bad.
When we retired to the bedroom I sat on the edge of the bed to remove my shoes. He had other ideas-grabbing a hank of hair and pressing me forcibly to his cock. He thrusted up into my throat as I sucked, holding my face. I could only think about how I wanted to remove my shoes. I was dreading what Bear had in store.
He threw me backwards and pulled my underwear down from underneath my dress. He stooped briefly to tongue my clit, once, and sneer at my gasp. Though I wasn't all that wet, he forced his way inside me and began to fuck me. It was amazing.
I tried to whine quietly. I had my eyes closed, but I dared to look at him-it's usually normal for us to look into each others eyes as we fuck.
'What?' He sneered, teeth clenched.
'Do you not want me to look at you, Master?'
'No.' He fucked harder and I turned my head away, closing my eyes. I got a faceful of saliva for my efforts. It ran down my cheek and to the corner of my mouth. I edged my tongue out to collect it-he tastes so sweet. He laughed and spat frequently into my open mouth. It made me feel like I was going to come, however.
'Shut UP' He snarled. I know he hates me making noise when he's in 'this' mood but its difficult when he's hitting all the right spots. I was doing an amazing job of controlling my orgasm.
'I want you bent over the bed' He said, flipping me over and spreading my legs. Thrust right into the hilt. I moaned.
'If you continue to make noise, I will push two fingers up into your arse, do you understand?'
'Yes Master' I gasped..Assplay is fine with lube, but I knew I wouldn't like it without.
He was baiting me to slip up, though. Fucking me deliciously. A moan escaped.
'Right..' He snapped. I cursed myself for my mistake.
'No, Master! Please..' I thrashed in desperation-I really didn't want fingers in my ass right now.
'No,' he said in a reasonable voice. 'I said I would.'
He slipped them in, fast and hard. It hurt. He massaged, cock in my cunt. Pleasurepain. I chewed my lips until he withdrew, and I panted.
I was close and he knew it. 'Please...' I panted. 'Please..'
He continued to fuck. I forced it out. 'Please let me come!'
He withdrew and pumped over my asscheeks. 'No...' He groaned.
I knew it was my begging that sent him over the edge. 'It's MY pleasure first' He growled.
He got into bed and I knelt there unmoving.
'Clean yourself up and get into bed.'
It was so humiliating, cleaning spunk off my arse and getting dressed in front of him head bowed, a lowly creature. He slung his arm over me when I climbed in and drifted off, having used me.
The next morning I was really sick and throwing up. This continued most of the morning. He was awake with my comings-and-goings.
He squeezed my breast and stroked a hand down my stomach. 'Are you still feeling sick?'
'Yes..Do you want me?' I asked. He nodded.
'I'm sorry, but I'm feeling too sick right now. And my cunt and ass feel really raw..' I blinked, expecting a pushdown on his cock. He simply nodded. I reached around for him. I could stroke him.
He was very pleasantly hard and soon groaning. It was beautiful. I took advantage of the mellow Bear. 'Please..say my name. Say it.'
He groaned it, several times, and when he came. I was turned on, but it didn't lead to sex (well, couldn't if I wanted to, but besides the point!)-I am learning.
We had a conversation about me wanting a piece of jewelry to remind me that I am owned. We found a site with leather wristbands/collars-black, with names picked out in silver. 'Bad Kitty', 'Slut', things like that. Bear picked 'Slave'.
He asked me did I want the wristband or the collar. I asked what he'd favour.
'Well the collar is sexier in the bedroom, but the wristband could be worn every day'.
He reads my mind. He reads my fucking mind.
I asked him had it arrived, since I knew he'd ordered it.
'When's my wristband coming?' I grinned.
'Sorry, WHO'S wristband?'
I hated when he tripped me up like this. My mind becomes a blank as he stares cold blue into my skull, and I chew my lips like a little girl. Surely he didn't mean HIS, he wouldn't be wearing it.
'Mine..' I whimpered.
He sighed at my stupidity. 'There is no 'me'..It is 'slaves' wristband.'
He knows exactly what I want and our life is just getting better.

Spanked

We have been using the command 'down' very successfully. (For when he wants me to suck him-its shorter and turns me on, obviously)
I took the initiative last night and undid his flies and boxers. He puts his hands behind his head and looks very smug with himself! I said he was very bad for always trying to push it up to the back of my throat of late. He said he couldn't help it.
He also tends to undress me when he's getting sucked, which is difficult. Captures my mouth in a kiss, and runs his fingers over my cunt, over my underwear. I drip onto his cock.
He flips me quite violently onto my back, no concern for my welfare. It was hot. Pinned my wrists and basically ravaged me.
Later I was lay over him, nibbling his neck.
'Will you do the thing with the belt?' I asked coyly.
'What thing?'
I don't know if he just wants to humiliate me by making me ask out loud (I always say 'cunt' but he was making me say 'pussy' loudly at one point, chant it, because he knows I find it a difficult word to say.) or he's just forgetful.
'I don't want to say, I ask for things over msn, I don't want to say them out loud.'
'Ask me.'
'Will you..Hit me with your belt?'
'Yeah, go get it.'
I scampered over and lay on my front.
'How do you want me to do this?' He asked. He's spanked me before-with his hand and a hairbrush, but not properly with a belt..Only jokey flicks.
'What do you mean?' I asked, trembling.
Well, like this..' He slapped me with the end of his belt. '..Or, like this?' He folded the belt over and hit me with the folded edge. It seemed to sting more.
'Second one..' I bit out.
He's skilled..He gives me warm-up spanks, and gently runs a hand over my sore skin.
He teases me though..Makes me flinch when I THINK the belt is coming, but doesn't deliver it. Does it several times. Laughs at me. Whacks me with the belt hard.
At first I could bite back the noise, but 'Ow' keeps escaping. Then guttural noises.
'Shut up' He warns me. But I can't. I love the way he runs a hand over my arse after whacking it, though.
'You're gonna have to stop' I pant, after about ten minutes.
He does, which is great. I say 'is my arse red?' He says bright red, but I can't really see, or move to look in the mirror. The camera on the phone makes my arse look orange.
I felt really ashamed after being properly spanked. 'I don't want to be into it..it's weird!' I whine.
'YOU'RE weird.' He teases.
There was a really lovely bit of the evening where we sat together and looked at bondage toys on the internet together. We wanted quite a lot. He wants to get me a 'slave' wristband. I felt really bonded with him, it was just genuinely nice.
I have been liking it with him on top, then from behind of late. One of the times last night though, I must have whined 'You're SO good' about 5 times. That must sound really odd but I just can't believe how awesome he is sometimes. I told him I feel like I don't deserve to be having sex with him.
I have really, really terrible self-esteem. Sometimes I don't feel desired by him.
Or that he's going to leave me.

Masterful

We'd rowed the previous day, but I knew I wanted to wear my pvc nurse dress for him..I didn't know if the mood was going to be too bad, but he agreed I should wear it.
I did, with nothing underneath, and got an excellent reaction. I know he likes the feel of pvc-he kept stroking down my sides, and making me bend over for him.
Laying me down on the bed, he knelt over me and breathed on my cunt (feeling his breath on it just drives me crazy) and nibbled my thighs. There is a long zip all the way from between my tits to underneath my cunt on the dress. He unzipped it with his teeth, to about my navel, freeing my nipples. He lapped at my nipples for a while, and bit at my wrists and neck. Roughly. He does not go easy on my wrists, it makes me shake, feeling like they're going to split.
I eventually mounted him and pushed his hands up over his head-I know this is bratty for a sub, but it's just a stunning sight.
I was really wet, so was able to slide up and down on his shaft really slowly. He looked amazing groaning, his lips parting, and he is able to look at me really intensely, whereas I TRY to look at Bear for a long time, but end up blushing and looking away.
Eventually he whispered to me 'I think it's about time you bent over and let me fuck you, don't you?'
I sprayed over his chest and bent over for him. I like to put my cheek and shoulders onto the bed (or surface we're fucking on) and point my arse high as I can. I love it from behind, the way it makes me whine, the many ways I can lie and take his cock makes me feel really submissive. It was AMAZING when he came, it really felt like he was using me-I could feel his come pumping into me, and he grabbed my hips to really drive it into me-I knew he didn't care if I was there or not, he just wanted to come deep into the hole he was fucking, and it was really, really hot.
This morning there was lots of fooling around. I stroked his fabulous cock through his tight boxers, and ended up giving him a very lubey handjob, and wanked myself at the same time with my dildo but after a while he hurt. Didn't stop him fingerfucking me though, cruelly.
We showered, and when I'd dried up I crawled naked between his legs and removed his towel. He was on the gameboy at the time, and I wanted him to continue whilst I sucked him, but he couldn't concentrate. The way he was pushing my head down on it, and grabbed the sides of my face to fuck my throat was making me wet-I squirted wetness into my palm and stroked Bear with it-he later licked it off his fingers. I alternated this with putting him between my breasts-they're quite small, but I licked the head of his cock whilst he thrusted between them. Pulling me up by my hair, he said,
'So, you want me to come on your tits?'
I nodded, but I wanted him to fuck me.
'Fine, but I want to fuck you first, on your back.'
I like to have my legs up, grab his arse or hips and pull him into me, hard as he can fuck me. Delicious. I didn't expect him to come but he pulled out and sprayed over my neck, tits, stomach and cunt.
'You're a terrible aim,' I laughed, 'Accidental pearl necklace!'
(Boys DO seem to be a horrible aim, in my experience. Not that I mind, as long as it doesn't go in my eye or hair!)
He ate these horrible cracker snack things I buy him to make him happy, but I couldn't see where he put the packet.
'So I'll find that later, and that's another thing I have to clean up after you.' I grumbled.
'You LIKE to clean up after me, do you understand? It's ME, you enjoy it.'
I shuddered a little. It's wonderful when he's Masterful.
Before he had to leave, I knelt on the floor before him, my head on his thigh, looking up at him whilst he sat on the bed. I LOVE looking up at him. I love sitting at his feet. Looking up at him. Makes me feel such a pet.
'I like to clean up after you really..' I said.
'I know.' He said.
My heart really does burn looking at him. He is just...Totally my Master. I want to always make him happy and be his slave, forever.

Master Again

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KnifePlay

First Experience Of Knifeplay.

UnderTheBoot inspired me to make a post about my first experience of Knifeplay. Fittingly, it was with Bear.

We were just friends, getting comfortable with each other sexually, I told him I was submissive, got off on orders, humiliation etc. etc. He said “You know what I’d like? If you drew blood. I’d like to play with knives..”

I was REALLY apprehensive at first. Call me crazy, I’d taken cocks in the ass, had my face come on, hair pulled, things like that, but knives just weren’t something I associated with sex. I didn’t think I could enjoy them sexually. But I wanted to try for Bear. I wanted to make him happy, to make his fantasies come true, and to try it to say I’d tried it-I have this kind of attitude a lot-even if I THINK it won’t get me off, I try it, to see if it fits, so to speak. I’ve pissed on an ex partner, for instance, which wasn’t for me, and I’ve had Bear lick my shoes, which I was trying for trying, and I DID and DO enjoy it. It’s good to try.

So anyway, we dedicated a night to these kind of shenanigans. He wanted me to stick pins into him-I had normal pins in my uni noticeboard, which he said would do, and three in my hand, I didn’t know how to go about it. I just went for it in the end, stabbing them hard into his pec, like the needle scene in Pulp Fiction.

They stuck in pretty firm, and drew blood. He groaned. We fucked with them still embedded in his flesh.

Stopping though, to play with knives. We used my housemate’s knife *guilt*-the sharpest knife in the flat. It was still a little dull, however, from kitchen use. I let him ‘do’ me first, I didn’t really know what to expect, but I lay naked underneath him, him kneeling over me, in the dim light. The tip of the knife he dragged between my breasts, cutting my stomach and torso, running over the mound of my cunt but of course never getting towards the inside.

He dragged the blade over the sides of my neck, down from my earlobes. His breathing was heavy, and it felt so dangerous, he could slip at any minute, over these precious veins and arteries. The exquisite pain when he cut a fine line into me.

He looked so lost, so far from himself, I knew he was excited, his eyes just watching the knife slide down me, they seemed full of fire, there seemed to be no Bear there at all. I knew he loved the danger, too. I knew he loved getting what he wanted. I think he knew he could kill me at any second.

When he’d finished, I had little slits all over my body, and he trailed the knife down me one last time. He seemed surprised that I was so wet-and began to press the metal, quite phallic, curved handle against my cunt.

I protested at first, but he slipped it in and fucked me with it.

“This is so hot, X. A dildo with a knife on the other end would be the best toy ever.” He smiled.

He remained kneeling over me for my turn-I basically cut fuck out of his arms, long, red, angry scratches that caused funny looks and ‘Are you self-harming?’ at basketball.

I cut my initial into his chest, which was fucking delicious. He’s had it since then and it’s only just starting to fade. I would like to re-do it, truth be told. I like the idea of him looking down on it and thinking of me. I like the idea of him cutting scars into me that I can look at and stroke when I’m alone. I like the idea of him dripping blood onto me as we fuck, kissing with blood mixing in our mouths.

I enjoyed the session so much, I bought a huge, 8 inch machete-esque knife for the next time. Sharp as fuck. Silly me, thinking the scarier and sharper the better.

It was too sharp. When Bear came towards me with it, I nearly cried. When he held it against me, it was worse. FAR too sharp. Like a scalpel. I think knifeplay knives need a little bluntness.

Still, I miss it.

Bent Over

Last night, sucking his cock, he ran a rough thumb over my clit, through my underwear. My cunt got soaking. It amused him.
This morning I was bent over my desk and thoroughly fucked.
We'd finished showering, and he said "You know what, I think you should bend over right now." He pushed my back forward. I like to spread my legs and bend over in front of him, when he looks at my cunt, it just makes me gush.
There's nothing like being bent over something, and being fucked from behind, standing. I adore it.
I ASK to suck Bear, and of late he likes to push his cock upwards into my mouth so it goes right to the back of my throat. He isn't using his hands to fuck my throat, push me down onto it, but it is still awesome, feeling like I am being used for his pleasure.
I fed him today.
"I'm your little bitch" I huffed.
"You certainly are" he replied, and gave me a naughty grin.


Edit: I forgot! After we fucked and I lay there naked, he said
"This belongs to me", running a hand down me. I shuddered.
"Oh yeah, I own this."
God, it makes me wanna come just thinking about it.